Blog

Welcome to my Question & Answer blog!

Please email your questions to KCaseyConsulting@gmail.com with "Dear KC" in the subject line. I post answers once a month. 

Dec 31 2018 SESSION DISCOUNTS, packages & intensives [Pinned post]Category: Business     05:03PM   0

I offer discounted rates for:

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Aug 25 2017 How does performance anxiety take hold of my brain?Category: Intimacy     04:50PM   0

Dear KC, How does performance anxiety take such powerful hold of me, at the very worst times? I'm a successful, accomplished man, but with women I sometimes get nervous, especially since my divorce. It can really shut me down, derailing a first date or sexual encounter before I see it coming. It's like my own body is working against me, or something!

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Jul 23 2017 What's the difference between coaching and counseling?Category: Activities     04:46PM   0

Dear KC, Aside from education and licensing requirements, what's the difference between a coach and a counselor or therapist? 

Thanks for asking. While there is some overlap, for the most part, these modalities really are different beasts.

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Jul 21 2017 What are the biggest issues for men & women dating in their 60s?Category: Compatibility     02:39PM   0

I was recently asked to do an interview on the topic of senior dating. Among other questions, I was asked about the top challenges men and women face, when dating at age 60 or older. The topic is not unfamiliar to me, since many of my clients are in that group. Still, to prepare myself for a range of questions, I did some pre-interview research. After polling a few dozen friends, clients, and acquaintances, my findings were as I'd e

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Jun 20 2017 What's the difference between sensual and erotic?Category: Sex     05:37PM   0

Dear KC, It seems like sensuality is an aspect of your coaching work. How does sensuality differ from erotic? Are they two distinct spots on the same scale? And if so, where is the line between them?

The short answer:
Sensual pertains solely to the senses, of which there are five physical. Sensuality is not inherently sexual, though it can lead to and enhance sexual activity.

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May 19 2017 Why aren't men better at opening up?Category: Intimacy     05:37PM   0

Dear KC, My boyfriend is under a lot of stress at work, but won't talk to me about it. I keep telling him I'm here for him, but how can I make him feel better if he won't open up about his feelings? He's always been this way, like if we've hit a rough patch in our relationship and I want to talk about what's not working for him or how he envisions our future, he'll just clam up and change the subject. Why don't men understand that

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Apr 18 2017 How to have the grooming talk?Category: Intimacy     10:26AM   0

Dear KC, I'm seeing a new guy who's a real outdoorsy type. He hikes, camps, and spends extended periods in the wilderness. He's phenomenally fit, yet also unkempt, with excess hair everywhere (crotch, nose, eyebrows, ears, etc.) Also, he doesn't trim his nails often enough (toenails especially, ugh). The lack of basic grooming is a real distraction (and turn-off). The thing is, I rea

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Mar 17 2017 Got No Game?Category: Sex     04:31PM   0

Dear KC, I'm crazy about a woman I've taken on three dates, each more awkward than the last. I don't know why, but I lose all my wit, charm, and conversational skills in her presence. I can barely open her door without tripping over myself. We have a certain spark, but at this rate how long can it last? I got no game and don't know what to do about it.

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Feb 16 2017 How can I be more physically in tune with my partner?Category: Intimacy     04:00PM   0

Dear KC, I was in a sexless marriage for twenty-five years. I've recently begun dating and suddenly feel like a bull in a china shop. I'm graceful enough on a basketball court (or once was, anyway), and even danced with my daughter at her wedding without stepping on her toes. In bed though, I'm rusty. Also awkward and clumsy. Can a person learn sensuality? 

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Jan 15 2017 Please make the clitoris less mysterious.Category: Sex     07:56AM   0

Dear KC, in my (admittedly limited) experience, when it comes to oral sex every woman likes something different. There doesn't seem to be one surefire technique for successful cunnilingus. Or is there? If so, please share! If not, could you pass along some tips? When I ask for guidance, my partners are not as helpful as you'd expect. (In fact, if you could explain that, I'd also reall

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Dec 14 2016 Help! I need thrusting techniques.Category: Sex     07:59AM   0

Dear KC, I've recently discovered I'm a jackhammer lover. Until now, I didn't know that was a thing. A woman recently broke up with me, then told a mutual friend she couldn't stand my "jack-hammering." It was a little humiliating, and I hope to never go through that again. But the bottom line is, I want to be good in bed and satisfy future partners. I'll take any tips, but especially 

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Nov 13 2016 How do I know if I need intimacy coaching?Category: Intimacy     10:50AM   1

Dear KC, I have a tendency to get nervous and self-conscious during sex, especially with new partners. It's a bit ridiculous considering I've been having sex for twenty years, but anyway, when I'm nervous nothing seems to work like it should. I fear disappointing my partners, and the more worried I get, the more likely it is to happen. I've had great sex in the past, thanks to rare cases of instant chemistry or m

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Oct 13 2016 How can I tell how a woman wants to be touched?Category: Sex     08:30PM   0

Dear KC, I'm a fairly experienced guy, yet with every new partner I discover no two women are wired the same. Some love oral, some don't, and those who do need it done very specific ways. I've tried asking for instruction or guidance, but have sensed it makes some women uncomfortable. It's hard to get clear answers. Am I not asking the right way?

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Sep 8 2016 Can I send you a dick pic?Category: Business     07:50AM   2

Dear KC, you list "body image issues" as something you work with. Does that include the penis? I worry mine is too small and figure you've seen a few so would be a good judge. It's smaller than what I see in porn, and though I've been told by past girlfriends that it's fine (average-sized) they could be lying. I'd appreciate your professional opinion. Can I email a pic?

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Aug 22 2016 Performance anxiety and body image issues are ruining our sex life.Category: Sex     10:22AM   2

Dear KC, I'm aware you don't currently see couples but I hope you can provide a little advice for me and my husband. We have a great relationship overall, but our sex life seems to be stalled. I've always been a little insecure about my body, but it's worsened since having twins. While my husband does everything he can to please me, I can't seem to quiet the voice in my head that tells me I'm flabby, saggy, and unsexy. More often

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Aug 8 2016 Why won't she fall in love with me?Category: Chemistry     09:47AM   0

Dear KC, I'm a great catch. I have a promising career, healthy income, and beautiful house. I'm also handsome, funny, polite, and great in bed, yet none of my relationships go on more than six months. My last girlfriend said she was tired of trying to make me a better man. That I interrupted her all the time and was always late picking her up for dates. Aren't those little issues worth the trade-off of an otherwise good m

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Jul 7 2016 My picker is broken, help!Category: Compatibility     04:20PM   0

Dear KC, I must be a hopeless romantic, because when I like a woman I fall head over heels fast. To be honest, I dig that part—infatuation is a turn-on for me (and makes for great sex). The problem is it blinds me to glaring flaws and incompatibilities. My breakups tend to be dramatic or explosive. Afterward I look back and pinpoint danger signs I'd blithely ignored at the time, but how can I do better in

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Jun 6 2016 What is fear of intimacy all about?Category: Intimacy     12:00PM   2

Dear KC, I have a hard time forming lasting relationships. A friend pointed out that I often sabotage things as soon as real feelings develop. I also tend to date women who are unavailable in some way, either through physical distance or emotional coldness (which kind of sabotages things before they start). What are your thoughts on such self-defeating behavior? Why is it so hard for me to form romantic bonds?

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May 5 2016 Is it true women lose their sex drive by age 50?Category: Sex     10:14AM   1

Dear KC, I'm a man in my mid 40s who typically dates women 10-12 years younger than myself. There's a beautiful, intriguing woman around my age at the gym. I plan to ask her out, but to be honest, I worry about sexual incompatibility. Is it true women lose most of their sex drive in their 40s?

Hell no. 

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Apr 4 2016 How can I fix my partner's sexual dysfunction?Category: Sex     10:13AM   0

Dear KC, I'm dating a 60 yr old man who's just come through a painful divorce. He has minor health issues, yet nothing that should affect sexual performance. That said, he's definitely having issues. Things start off with a bang, then everything deflates (if you know what I mean). We're awaiting results from his doctor, but I suspect the divorce has shaken his confidence. If our sex life continues to stall, I fear he'll leave me out of pure embarrassmen

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