Welcome to my Question & Answer blog!

Please email your questions to with "Dear KC" in the subject line. I post answers once a month. 

SESSION DISCOUNTS, packages & intensives [Pinned post]Category: Business   Dec 31st 2018  05:03PM   0

I offer discounted rates for Progressive Intimacy Coaching only. (Please see description on "In Private" page.) I do not offer discounts on any sessions other than Progressive Intimacy Coaching. 

Discounts available for:

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Prep Your PadCategory: Activities   Oct 24th 2017  09:10AM   0

Dear KC, What do you mean my home isn't date-friendly?!

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How does performance anxiety take hold of my brain?Category: Intimacy   Sep 25th 2017  04:50PM   0

Dear KC, How does performance anxiety take such powerful hold of me, and at the worst times? It's gotten so bad I find myself making excuses to end dates early, to avoid risking more embarrassing ED. Why is my body suddenly working against me?

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What's the difference between coaching and counseling?Category: Activities   Aug 23rd 2017  04:46PM   0

Dear KC, Aside from education and licensing requirements, what's the difference between a coach and therapist? 

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What are the biggest issues for men & women dating in their 60s?Category: Compatibility   Jul 21st 2017  02:39PM   0

I was recently asked to do an interview on the topic of senior dating. Among other questions, I was asked about the top challenges men and women face, when dating at age 60 or older. The topic is not unfamiliar to me, since many of my clients are in that group. Still, to prepare for a range of questions, I did some pre-interview research. After polling a few dozen friends, clients, and acquaintances, my findings were as I'd exp

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What's the difference between sensual and erotic?Category: Intimacy   Jun 20th 2017  05:37PM   0

Dear KC, It seems like sensuality is an aspect of your coaching work. How does sensual differ from erotic? Are they two distinct spots on the same scale? And if so, where is the line between them?

The short answer:
Sensual pertains solely to the senses, of which there are five physical. Sensuality is not inherently sexual, though it can lead to and enhance sexual activity.

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Why aren't men better at opening up?Category: Intimacy   May 19th 2017  05:37PM   0

Dear KC, My boyfriend is under a lot of stress at work, but won't talk to me about it. I tell him I'm here for him, but how can I make him feel better if he won't open up? He's always been this way, like if we've hit a rough patch in our relationship and I want to understand what's not working for him, he'll clam up and change the subject. Why don't men understand that it helps to talk about this stuff?

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How to have the grooming talk?Category: Intimacy   Apr 18th 2017  10:26AM   0

Dear KC, I'm seeing a new guy who's a real outdoorsy type. He hikes, camps, and spends extended periods in the wilderness. He's phenomenally fit, yet also unkempt, with excess hair everywhere (crotch, nose, eyebrows, ears, etc.) Also, he doesn't trim his nails often enough (toenails especially, ugh). The lack of basic grooming is a real distraction (read: turn-off). The thing is, I r

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Got No Game?Category: Intimacy   Mar 17th 2017  04:31PM   0

Dear KC, I'm crazy about a woman I've taken on three dates, each more awkward than the last. I don't know why, but I lose all my wit, charm, and conversational skills in her presence. I can barely open her door without tripping over myself. We have a certain spark, but at this rate how long can it last? I got no game and don't know what to do about it.

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How can I be more physically in tune with my partner?Category: Intimacy   Feb 16th 2017  04:00PM   0

Dear KC, I was in a sexless marriage for twenty-five years. I've recently begun dating and suddenly feel like a bull in a china shop. I'm graceful enough on a basketball court (or once was, anyway), and even danced with my daughter at her wedding without stepping on her toes. In bed though, I'm rusty, awkward and clumsy. Can a person learn sensuality? 

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Please make the clitoris less mysterious.Category: Sex   Jan 15th 2017  07:56AM   0

Dear KC, in my (admittedly limited) experience, when it comes to oral sex every woman likes something different. There doesn't seem to be one surefire technique for successful cunnilingus. Or is there? If so, please share! When I ask for guidance, my partners are not as helpful as you'd expect. (In fact, if you could explain that, I'd also appreciate it.)

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Help! I need thrusting techniques.Category: Sex   Dec 14th 2016  07:59AM   0

Dear KC, I'm a jackhammer lover. Until very recently, I didn't know that was a thing. A woman I'd been dating just broke up with me, then told a mutual friend she hated my "jack-hammering." It was a little humiliating, frankly, but the bottom line is I want to better satisfy my future partners. I'll take any tips, but especially thrusting techniques, if you have them.

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How do I know if I need intimacy coaching?Category: Intimacy   Nov 13th 2016  10:50AM   0

Dear KC, I have a tendency to get nervous and self-conscious during sex, especially with new partners (which seems ridiculous considering I've been having sex for twenty years). Anyway, when I'm nervous nothing works like it should, and the more worried I get the more likely it is to happen. I've had great sex in the past, thanks to rare cases of instant chemistry or maybe just dumb luck, who knows? The great ex

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How can I tell how a woman wants to be touched?Category: Sex   Oct 13th 2016  08:30PM   0

Dear KC, I'm a fairly experienced guy, yet with every new partner I discover no two women are wired the same. Some love oral, some don't. Those who do want it done in highly specific ways. I've tried asking for instruction and guidance, but it makes some women uncomfortable. It's hard to get clear answers. Am I not asking the right way?

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Can I send you a dick pic?Category: Business   Sep 8th 2016  07:50AM   0

Dear KC, you list "body image issues" as something you work with. Does that include the penis? I worry mine is too small and figure you've seen a few so would be a good judge. It's smaller than what I see in porn, and though I've been told it's fine by past girlfriends they could be lying. I'd appreciate your professional opinion. Can I email a pic?

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Performance anxiety and body image issues are ruining our sex life.Category: Sex   Aug 22nd 2016  10:22AM   0

Dear KC, I'm aware you don't currently see couples but I hope you can provide a little advice for me and my husband. We have a great relationship overall, but our sex life seems to be stalled. I've always been a little insecure about my body, but it's worsened since having twins. While my husband does everything he can to please me, I can't seem to quiet the voice in my head that tells me I'm flabby, saggy, and unsexy. More often

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Why won't she fall in love with me?Category: Chemistry   Aug 8th 2016  09:47AM   0

Dear KC, I'm a great catch. I have a promising career, healthy income, and beautiful house. I'm also handsome, funny, polite, and great in bed, yet none of my relationships last more than six months. My last girlfriend said she was tired of trying to make me a better man. That I interrupted her all the time and was always late picking her up for dates. Aren't those little issues worth the trade-off of an otherwise go

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My picker is broken, help!Category: Compatibility   Jul 7th 2016  04:20PM   0

Dear KC, I must be a hopeless romantic, because when I like a woman I fall head over heels fast. To be honest, I dig that part—infatuation is a turn-on for me (and makes for great sex). The problem is it blinds me to glaring flaws and incompatibilities. My breakups tend to be dramatic or explosive. Afterward I look back and pinpoint danger signs I'd blithely ignored at the time, but how can I do better in

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What is fear of intimacy all about?Category: Intimacy   Jun 6th 2016  12:00PM   0

Dear KC, I have a hard time forming lasting relationships. A friend pointed out that I often sabotage things as soon as real feelings develop. I also tend to date women who are unavailable in some way, either through physical or emotional distance. I'm even sabotaging things before they start! 

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Is it true women lose their sex drive by age 50?Category: Sex   May 5th 2016  10:14AM   0

Dear KC, I'm a man in my mid 40s who typically dates women 10+ years younger than myself. There's a beautiful, intriguing woman, my age, at the gym. I plan to ask her out, but to be honest, I worry about sexual incompatibility. Is it true women lose most of their sex drive in their 40s?

Hell no. 

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